How To Do Self-Care The Spoonie Way
Is it just me, or do we all roll our eyes or sigh when we hear anything self-care-related? I don’t wanna be sold anything, or hear any more holistic chronic illnesses cures or meditations, I just wanna be. Self-care maintenance is difficult for us spoonies (a person living with a chronic illness/disability trying to manage energy with specific tasks), and it’s something abled-bodied individuals can take for granted due to the ease of basic care.
I can’t keep up with the beauty gurus and their 7-10-step skin and body care routines, with the matching drink, candle, bubble bath, and snacks that they gracefully set up for the camera. No hate, as the viewers are living through you, especially the ones who couldn’t make it out of bed today. Since this is not a reachable lifestyle with someone with a chronic illness and/or disability (a spoonie), this doesn’t mean self-care isn’t accessible, luxurious, and can feel as pretty just from your home without a fancy bathroom.
Let’s just exist, resting is just as rewarding and self-care, too!
Key Terms:
1)🥄spoonie: self-identification slang for a person who is chronically ill or disabled and
has limited energy.
2)🥄🥄spoons (spoon theory rationing energy): units of energy that a person with a
chronic illness/disability has.
3)🥄🥄🥄Safe zone ( think rest, manageable spoons, safe space, comfort item/food)
4)🥄🥄🥄🥄Danger zone(low spoons, burnout, triggered, pain flare).
Spoonie Rules to live by!
*Don’t force yourself or compare yourself to a regular healthy person on their good day
with 8 spoons whilst you only have 2 (danger zone), you will suffer the next day and
regret pushing yourself.
*The rest is self-care. If all you can do in a day is exist, good job, you made it through a
day!
*Tomorrow is a new day for a fresh start, don’t be hard on yourself if you weren’t as
productive as you would like to be today.
*Your value isn’t defined by your productivity!
*Use apps for calendars, alarms, pain/diet/activity/task trackers, and reminders to
motivate you for more “safe zone days” and make basic living more enjoyable and
organized to avoid overwhelm
Now, for self-care for the spoonies in the room, we want our self-care to be anything but in the danger zone, so here are some self-care spoonie tips so our self-care can lead us to a safe zone. Self-care = release tension and better management of symptoms, improved confidence. Some of these are simple but can be tools to avoid or manage days around danger zones to replace spoons and feel accomplished while doing self-care that’s accessible and meant for us and our own needs. These are meant to replenish or save the spoons we already have. This is not meant to be done all in one day; make a designated day based on your schedule.
Like the weekends, try one thing from the spoonie self-care list and plan around the symptoms you’re experiencing on that day. Ex) Saturday, I will listen to Gospel music, research areas of interest, and read my new book. I start with 3 spoons🥄🥄🥄, gained spoons from activities🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄(I now have 5 spoons). So now I can clean or shower based on how I’m feeling at that moment. No matter how the day ended, if it was ok or not, I got through it, I did something productive and something I enjoyed, and now I can rest.
Mental/emotional self-care
-Read
-Listen/ watch ASMR
-Turn devices on DND (Do not disturb)
-Color, scribble, draw
-Listen to music
-Set time aside to tidy up the living area
-Deep breaths 4-6-8 square breathing
-Show gratitude, think and say 5 things you’re grateful for, for yourself, others, or things in your day
-Say or write an affirmation on a Post-it note and make a reminder to say it every day -research areas of interest, special interests, or hyper-fixations
– Join online support groups or use apps to interact with other spoonies like The Mighty
and Spoony
– FaceTime, call, text a loved one
– Remove yourself from people/environment when you’re not well or feel drained
– Take a break from a task that you’re doing and pace yourself
Physical
-Set time during the week to do stretches/ 2-5 exercises at whatever ability and comfort level for the
level you need, either in bed, a chair, or yoga mat exercises.
-Do at least one movement a day.
-Eat your favorite snack.
-Drink water.
-Taking medicine.
– Hold/play with comfort items (fidgets, blanket, stuffed animal).
– Snuggle with your pet.
– Take a break from a task that you’re doing, and pace yourself ( sitting/lying down)
isn’t lazy.
– Nap.
– Do a body scan ( grounding check-in, wiggle fingers and toes, assess your needs), are
you hungry, in pain, restroom, or tired?
– Dopamine dressing (for the week, wear colors that show that inner sparkle).
You can then do the same as a joy calendar, where you choose days to do activities like these self-care ones to improve mood when in danger zones or to avoid them. If it’ll make you feel better or something, you can enjoy it’s important not to keep putting it off and saving it for the next day. Do something small, focus on doing what you can in one day!