Caring for your curly/coily hair as a spoonie
- Spoons = unit of energy in the chronically ill/disabled community and how much it can be rationed with a specific activity or in a day to help us manage time and energy used for tasks.
- Spoonie= the experience of living while chronically ill/disabled with limited energy
Ex) Today I woke up with 6 spoons(🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄), I have some pain and fatigue, if I start my day slow or have a nap I might gain a spoon. I plan out my day, making breakfast will cost me 3 spoons, I rest after(🥄🥄🥄+🥄). I have to do laundry and wash my hair that has been put off but I can only squeeze in a shower( 🥄🥄🥄). Now i’m only left with 🥄
Each task might require a different number of spoons because everyone has different support needs, triggers and conditions.
Now those of us who have been gifted with the crown of natural hair and who are not chronically/disabled can vouch this is no easy feat! The arm strength required to detange, section in and out the shower, shampoo, deep condition, rinse, leave-ins and style is worth 10 spoon I ain’t got so…Yes I said it natural hair is a blessing and sometimes a curse and then being disabled on top of that is a double homicide 😭
How can we love our hair while struggling with our physical/mental needs?
1) DON’T COMPARE (yeah let the expectations of amounting to the curly hair influencers and there journey with their hair go) This isn’t about them this is about bettering your health and self care maintenance.
2) Be grateful you have hair, don’t listen to other people who don’t have natural hair advising you it’s not a big deal it’s just hair, or just cut it *(eye roll) like us spoonies aren’t deserved to have gorgeous curly/coily locks too and feel proud of our appearance just because we’re disabled? It may be easy for them to say, I can’t throw up my hair in a bun or “just leave it” this lioness mane needs to be nourished before it turns into a matted painful mess.
3) Say a prayer, it may sound silly but what do you have to lose? Self- care is biblical, we may not be solely just our hair but it was given to us for a reason every hair on our crown is numbered so He must care about it aside from the temple that may be/feel broken. Ask God for strength in your mind and body before and during wash day to help you get through, to help you build a relationship and love for self-care even though sometimes it is inaccessible at times, pray that you and others can accommodate to you and your needs, your allowed to feel good about yourself, disabled or not!
Caring for your crown
1) Use natural hair care that is accessible and caters to you and your needs.
If you’re able to use what you have, switch out caps to make the nozzles, pump or jars aided to your hands for less slip, better grip, and less pain. Use a scalp scrubber or a suction scrubber to the shower wall and scrub away. Use a shampoo/conditioner cap on why you wash yourself to quicken the process, use items with pleasant, mild familiar scents, then rinse off and apply leave in conditioner in the shower and a claw clip so its prepared once you get out and you can rest. This can be done while sitting.
2) Natural hair is high maintenance, just like our bodies 🙁
When in locs, braids, twist out or buns it still has to be maintained with water, leave in mist, and oils while in the styles it just depends of the amount of manipulation and hair/scalp type.
3) Lessen the manipulation= less handling of your hair and daily restyling = yay more spoons!
Opt for low manipulation styles this encourages better growth, retain length and moisture. High manipulation styles are wash and gos (this is a once in a while style even though it requires less steps its susceptible to tangles,matting, breakage, split ends which can damage your hair), consistent heat styling may be a choice for the colder months (but this isn’t for “straight naturals” this is for us curly/coily/kinky folks who still want to maintain natural hair) and slick back buns and ponytails.
Instead do protective styles like mini twists (if not being done on yourself), low loose braids/ buns/pineapple puffs that don’t snatch edges or induce a migraine, flat twist/ cornrow into two braids. If you feel it looks plain accessorize! If you can’t consistently do this but still want to keep your natural hair, a trim/ cut can be helpful or cornrow and extensions like headband wigs, crochet and clip ins can give you a rest between weekly/bi- weekly wash days and save money on product and spoons. This is an option if you like the look of extensions but don’t want the maintenance of the lace.
In between wash days if you still want to look and feel put together put that head wrap on, veil your crown, it’s nobody’s business what’s under there but you and it looks lovely. This can also be an option if it’s just one of those days and you feel negatively about your appearance its ok a headwrap is a safer alternative to using harmful language towards your hair, ripping through it in frustration and impulsive cutting it because the hatred you feel in the moment. This is customizable to color and fabric. In my opinion Jersey cotton is sensory friendly and have bonnet/ turbans that are pre-tied if you don’t know how to tie them or your chronic pain limits you to do so. I think aside from mini twist, braids, natural hair and headwraps are a modest option but make me feel most powerful, like it just feels necessary as a brown girl.
4) Girl if you don’t utilize that stool/shower chair!
It ok to pace yourself, rest, sit down, and take a break. It’ll lessen the pain from creeping up on you all at once and save your spoons. Keep water, snacks and comfort items near or listen to some music or watch a show if that’s what you need to get through.
It’s frustrating and upsetting to lose the ability you maybe once had before the realization of how much energy and ease you did things with without all this extra stuff. Take a deep breath, we can control right now and right now you can power through and pay for it later or take a break. Be proud even despite how you feel you’re taking the time to sow into your self because you’re meant to feel beautiful.
Lastly accommodate for yourself only you know how you feel so use aids to your advantage don’t feel like you’re not disabled enough use it! The shower chair, the stool, the detachable shower heads, the grab bars, jar openers, shower cap with shampoo in it or conditioner and let it sit, detangling aids, hair washing tray and another human if need be!
Links to accessibility tool for wash day and shower tools
– Detachable shower head different pressures
– Ergonomic cosmetic bottle caps/ lids
– Accessibility hair tools like brushes, hands-free blow-dryer stand ,and scalp scrubber
– Cotton hair towel or old t-shirt instead of microfiber if you think microfiber is sent from the devil in the depths of sensory hell.
– Jersey headwrap and pre-tied turban
-XOXO,
THE SICK HEALER